WWABD?

When I was in the first grade, the other kids in my class liked to call me “Amelia Bedelia” and it annoyed me to no end.  I thought it was a lame nickname that lacked originality because, obviously, my name is Emilia…not Amelia.  It also felt like a bit of an insult because, if you’ve read any of the Amelia Bedelia books, you know she’s a bit of an airhead.  I was nothing like Amelia Bedelia and didn’t want to be put into the same category of person as her because our names sounded similar.  The nickname wore off as I grew up, but my need for organization and perfection grew stronger.  Over the years, I had developed a type-A dominant personality and thrived within the structure of my life.  It was up until a few years ago, when I came to Uganda for the first time, that these personality traits were challenged and began to make their transformations.

I had done quite a bit of traveling before coming to Uganda in 2015 and learned that traveling, especially with large groups of people, requires a certain kind of patience.  Of course, anything can happen when outside of the normal parameters of one’s every day life and these occurrences should be taken as they come with as little annoyance as possible.  And I was tested from the very beginning.  On my first trip outside of the country (to Colombia in 2009), my baggage was delayed and I had to use the provisions in my backpack to get me through a couple of days.  But I told myself then, to be flexible, to go against my desire to have everything in a row because these things are to be expected as a traveler (and complaining with a bunch of whiny teenagers will probably just make things worse). 

So I learned how to make do, but went right back to my default settings upon my return back home.  I liked to be in control, to be near the academic top of my class, to have it all planned out.  Yeah, I was the kid who came right home to do her homework before doing anything else.  It wasn’t like I didn’t learn anything from my trips outside of the country, I just knew what I liked and there wasn’t anything wrong with it.  But I became an adult and moved to Uganda.  I can’t say whether it is adulthood or life in Uganda, but my personality has become very-much-B dominate.  I am certain, though, that this change is the direct result of adapting to the hot mess that I like to call my life.

I haven’t really shared with you anything that happened in Uganda between my semester abroad and the beginning of my Peace Corps contract.  If you remember, I moved to Kampala to work at an international school as the administrator of an early childhood education center before choosing to pursue another path.  It was one of the hardest times of my life and I was not really feeling up to sharing about what I felt at the time was a huge mistake.  I believe that this time really jolted me into the struggle of adulthood and equipped me with ways to meet life’s ridiculous challenges because I had so many wild experiences that could make nearly anything seem like a piece of cake. 

During the interview process for the job, I was under the impression that the school I would be working at was a new branch off the main location and nearly finished so that students would be able to enroll and start in August.  Imagine my surprise when I get to the school in mid-July to see that the campus is no where near ready to take on students.  And my even further surprise when I had to work as a very cunning advertiser to try to convince parents to pay a ton of money to put their mini children in a school with grown construction men building with their sometimes dangerous equipment on its campus everyday.  Oh and let’s not forget my struggle trying to direct (and live with) these men, who refused to do anything and oftentimes didn’t do it right the first time or would otherwise ruin the progress that had been made by destroying property.  Did I mention that I was also fresh out of university and in charge of a small staff, comprised of teachers and security guards, which meant that I had to address any conflict that came up and lead some uncomfortable meetings?  My favorite time was sitting down with the people from the neighboring compound and telling them they were no longer allowed to be on our property because we had caught them stealing construction materials with the aid of one of our security guards, who mysteriously vanished afterwards. 

I forgot how crazy my life was during those months and am thankful that I decided to “trust the process” instead of pack my bags.  We cannot always escape from our problems and have to decide how we are going to deal with them.  Because it sure feels like my life has only gotten crazier since working at that school. 

 For instance, dry season in northern Uganda is brutal.  The temperatures are in the mid-nineties, at least, every day and the sun is so hot that it has started to burn my skin.  The air is so hot and dry that I wake up in the night sweating and in the morning with a sore throat.  The water sources also tend to evaporate causing a lack of places to find access to water.  Last year, the water was rationed and I had to hire someone help me carry the 40-lb jerrycans because I couldn’t do it on my own with the distance.  This year, my neighbors decided not to pay the bill, so I needed to be more proactive and had a discussion with my friend to try to set up some system where she would regularly come to carry water for me so I don’t have to have the same will-I-have-enough-water-to-make-it worries.  She was scheduled to come help me, but went to the village to be with her family before actually helping me fill my empty jerrycans leaving me with only one 20-litre container for three days.  It could be enough to make it, but I like to flush my toilet once a day and don’t like to have to make a choice between washing my body or my dishes. 

It all worked out in the end, don’t you worry.  My yet again failed attempt to yield anything successful wasn’t as complete of a disaster as it felt in my dismay (though that one jerrycan was there to taunt me).  My friend had called me to drop the news and it was that conversation with her, her husband, and her children that helped give me peace.  Her husband wanted to thank me for working with his wife because he was away in the village and didn’t want this set-back to impact our working relationship.  The kids don’t speak fluent English, so simply repeated phrases after their mom but you could hear the smile in their voices.  I realized that I had made the right decision to support the family that has been my link to the community over the past year.  My relationship with them was the real success of the situation.

Maybe I was too harsh with Amelia Bedelia as a kid.  I only saw her as a nitwit who couldn’t do anything right.  But she never let anything get her down and always handled the situation in the end, with the flexibility to meet the demands of the challenge and a true sincerity that won over her employers.  While I don’t believe there is anything wrong with the dominant type-A personality (in fact, I need to work on tightening some of my type-B personality habits), I like the person who has emerged from within me during my budding adulthood and time in Uganda.  On a scale, yes, I have changed drastically; but, as a whole, I would say that my personality has expanded simply to include more of the characteristics that I admired and aspired to be.  I did not realize as a child and teen just how unpredictable life could be and purposefully chose to accept loosening my tight hold on the way things had to be.  I no longer get so caught up in the details that don’t matter, but these experiences have made me more content and understanding of those “life has other plans” moments.

Now, I guess I should do all that laundry I let pile up…huh?

Xoxo,

Emilia

DISCLAIMER: The contents of this website are mine personally and do not reflect any position of the U.S. government or the Peace Corps.